Sunday, July 7, 2013

Smell my Breath ~ Story Line

Dear Challa's,

Voted for by YOU here's the winning Story Line for the two week period.

George makes Boo Boo... smell his breath.  *winks*


Boo Ghardian
*I believe:

1. George was dropped on his head as a pup then trampled on by elephants.
2. The doggen NEED to move our food bowls away from each other, his demeanor while eating is utterly disgusting. I'm ashamed to be related to him!
3. If he doesn't stop drooling on moi, I'm going to... I'm going to....

STOP IT!!! Using my paw and raising it in a mock CAT slap George in his furry fucking face, he doesn't take the HINT. OMSV, IF YOU DON'T... glaring at him with one eye open, the other eye still focused on Mount Bacon in Ice Cream Land*

George Ghardian 
*breathing on you* Smell my breath smell my breath! Come on it smells good, it really does! Fritz just brushed my teeth and they are like a meaty minty taste. But seriously smell my breath I smell good. I don't understand why I had to have my teeth brushed. Fritz said it was because that little piece of chocolate I found on the floor really wasn't chocolate. So he got this look on his face, I know you know what I'm talking about and then he started brushing my teeth. Seriously smell my breath *breathing on you again*

Boo Ghardian 
*Is that.... no it can't be. Nope, it's not possible. Dodgy is guarding it with his life because I told him a white lie... you know those ones you tell not to harm anyone. Is THAT my LITTER BOX smell?! I'd know that smell ANYWHERE. The absolute wonderful smell of my haven, complete with the after smell of Fresh Step AND mint? WEEEIRD. How did that get in there--SO NOT THE POINT. There's a saying where I come from, a.k.a. the best place ever, A.K.A. mahmen and DW's bedroom: The litter box is sacred. Those who foul it become enemies. AND HE FOULED IT with his DINGY no good doggy BREATH*

George Ghardian 
Dude chill! I saw this thing on the floor is was chocolate and it had sprinkles on it. I don't go in your litter box. I do not go near your litter box. Wrathhdaddy and mahmen told me all about your box and told me to stay away from those delicious candies because they are not good for me. So I listen to them because I love them and that is what you do when you love someone you listen to them. and by the way I do my businass outside like a REAL ANIMAL that I am. Ya know get in touch with nature and all that shit not in a minty smelling box.

Boo Ghardian 
*Fur still bristling, I glare UP at him, his tongue lolling out of his mouth like some rabid cujo mutt ready to... what? Rabies me to death? Fur realz, that would be the way I go. Cujo, a.k.a. George. I swear mahmen would FLIP out and then BAM, dog is gone. Hold on a furry minute... can I fake my own death? Blinking in thought as something wet hits me in the face, ignoring all his inner thoughts... what? WET? Looking up, my eyes narrowing EVEN more at him, OH NO HE DIDN'T! Keep YOUR filthy JAWS away from MOI!*

George Ghardian 
*breathing on you again* Are you going to smell my breath? *flashing a doggie smile* And I bet my teeth look all shiny too. I bet you could see yourself on my white teeth. *opening mouth and moving closer to you* CN U C YURTHELF?

Boo Ghardian 
*This is the last scene in Jaws, yes, where the shark raises it's head up from the water AND Brody sees him. WHERE IS MY HARPOON GUN?! I swear, as the reigning Pet in the house, I shouldn't have to be subjected to this. When are they going to realize the dog is just too much trouble? When are they going to realize he's not worth the King Size Snicker bars he lives in the Garden? I mean, fur really...? Closing my eyes as his hot breath hits me straight in the face, this is it. I'm going to meet those teeth right now and he's going to meet mahmen's wrath of a WHOLE NIGHT OUTSIDE. I'll be DW's eyes. Just call me Boo Boo, Pet Detective*

George Ghardian 
Well did you smell my breath? I mean you are breathing aren't you? *looking at you in the eyes and then looking at your chest and how it is moving rapidly with your heavy breathing* WHOA BooDude what's up with the heavy breathing. I'm not your type I don't do the cross species. AND Oh Shit I am so not going there. SO ANYWAY My breath smells awesome doesn't it because it tastes pretty damn awesome. I wonder if I find more of those chocolates with the sprinkles if Fritz will brush my teeth. I bet Fritz would brush your teeth too, I could put a good word in for ya.

Boo Ghardian 
*I swear, he has the mental capacity of a rock. Not even a nice rock, but the rock that Q's Hummer ran over several times until it broke the hummer. True story. I saw the wreckage. Blinking and coiling back, my whiskers moving as his hot breath hits me in the face, I do NOT want my teeth brushed. I believe this is a ploy to take over the world. Brush the animals teeth? Victory. We're then "civilized". As if. I'd rather eat my moldy bacon out of MY litter box before I allow someone as CIVILIZED as me to actually get my TEETH brushed. Doesn't it sound preposterous? It does in MY mind also*

George Ghardian 
*looking at my front paws, I call them my hands* I wonder if Fritz knows someone that can do my nails I do believe they need trimmed and shaped. Ya know you can always tell when your nails need attention because they make this really loud clicking sound on the tile and then it echos in the foyer. Really annoying. Boo, do you need your nails done too? I wonder it they have animal spa day. Mahmen talked about a spa day, where you go to get pampered and they give you chocolate. *having a lucid thought* MAHMEN ate chocolate! I wonder if it had sprinkles on it.

Boo Ghardian 
*No, I do NOT want my nails done, the Old Coot will CLIP them. Or WORSE. Declaw me. Looking down at my sharp little daggers on my paws, grinning inwardly at them, HAHAHA, take THAT V. I get MINE naturally! Pausing, tilting my head to the side as he breathes on me again, I back up and let out a low hiss AS I narrow my eyes. That's close enough. Back up!*

George Ghardian 
*shaking my head at you* Honestly cat I think you need to calm down. You need a kitty massage or something, take a nice bubble bath, chase your tail. You know you would feel better if you exercised a little. This one blonde girl in a movie that mahmen and Layla were watching said that exercise releases dolphins and dolphins make people happy and happy people don't kill people. I really don't get that though because I though dolphins where those things in the ocean that make that really load chirping sound.

Boo Ghardian 
*This is the definition of dhunhd. DHUNHD. I'm sure of it. This is what happens when you're cursed and obviously I was. I'm surround by people whose intelligence is lower than mine. I'm surround by DOLPHINS. Shaking my feline head and STILL back up, curling into myself, THIS is my own fault. IF I would've GIVEN them all access to my litter box, I would've never had this trouble. But no. I didn't. And now I'm PAYING*


George Ghardian
*tilting head trying to understand that video* I think I'm disturbed. Why the hell would Nick Cage be wearing a cage and yelling? Is he wearing a cage because his name is cage? See this does not answer any of my life puzzling questions and provokes only more. *shaking my head* really I just don't understand. Something is just not right with that cat.


Boo Ghardian 
*Frowning inwardly down at George's pick of song... DA FUCK?! I believe the dog has lost all shred of mind he had left. Which wasn't much. Not at all. Why do I think this? I haven't even HAD Cat Nip today!!! That's a WEEKEND dig.. I have to be able to do my JOB during the week. You know, lay on Tohrment's desk, swish my tail side-to-side as I point out all the things that are wrong. I should get paid. REAL money. I should have my OWN amex. Annnnnnnnnnnnd, he's still staring at moi!! Seriously, do I OWE you money for Something?!*

George Ghardian 
*rolling my eyes* Honestly, why the hell don't cats come with instruction manuals. I mean dogs, as the superior breed that we are, are easy to understand Love us and we love you back. Cats have this air of entitlement and snobbishness that is just appalling. Appalling I tell you. But really when you can look past all that shit Boo is fucking awesome! I know he smelled my breath and he likes it he just would never admit it.~
 photo BooGeorge_zps3465c70d.gif

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