We're doing something very interesting to mark the One Year Anniversary for our blog AND two year Anniversary of BDB Unbound. *Insert Confetti throwing HERE* I hope you enjoy it as much as we did over the last year!
To start off our all time favorite SL's of the year, here's Boo Boo's guide on 'How to Correctly Stalk the Old Coot without him realizing'. In correct Boo fashion, each post will have another picture with it.
Enjoy!
Boo Ghardian
*Plops down, thinks, "Since the release of the Shellan
blah-blah-blah... I decided to give you my own Guide. A how-to of sorts".
Looks around carefully, making sure none of THEM are in sight. Thinks,
"Boo's Doggen Guide: How to correctly stalk the Old Coot without him
realizing. Yup. I will give you steps... ways to get around him. To BLEND in.
Just so you don't end up where I am usually seventy five percent of the time.
Feline PRISON aka: Cat carrier. So, gather around, young Jedi's and let moi
explain each one*
Boo Ghardian
~Step One~
*Waking up. Sounds simple, true? It's. NOT. Let me explain
why. When you're the Quartermaster, your job is VERY difficult. But adding that
to the fact that you're the Royal Feline? EXHAUSTING. I have to guard the
perimeter of DW's office for twenty minutes a day. Why? I have... no fucking
idea. Instinct, I guess? See why Tohrment picked me? Anywho, just opening my
eyes is a struggle. Like fur realz. Especially if I'm sunning myself... Unlike
the vamps? I don't turn into KFC when the sun hits me...*
Boo Ghardian
~Step Two~
*This step ISN'T for everyone, but I have to do it.
Planking. Yes, I, Sir Boo Boo, am I planker. Hangs feline head as I curl my
tail around my body. Now let me go into detail... when I wake up? I'm dazed.
Especially when I haven't had any food in my belly for about... oh, four hours?
I have to get control of my surroundings. If I don't plank? I'm stumbling and
then will appear WEAK. And that four letter word... checks Darth Vadar app,
yup-four letters... Isn't in a Brother's vocabulary*
Boo Ghardian
~Step Three~
*After planking, I'm all for going to the Kitchen for FOOD.
But if I'm going to stalk Doggen, I can't leave evidence. So, I am a regular at
watching CSI with Mahmen and one thing I learned from that show? If you DON'T
want to get caught, you can't leave any evidence. True? So, every step I take?
I have to lick my paws clean. Paw prints. If I leave those? The Doggen will
KNOW I've been stalking them. Especially Fritz, he has the eyes of an alien.
He'll even get his broom out and I for one do NOT want to see that happen.
Again*
Boo Ghardian
*Pausing for a second to remember last night, I
begged a Doggen for some food. Totally turned on the cute-ness and he just
stared down at me. Then? He poured me those GROSS cardboard nuggets, aka: Dry
Cat Food, and expect MOI to eat IT. What the fuck? Was the Doggen dropped on
his head when he was hatched? I'm thinking SO. Anywho, needless to say? I
didn't eat until I got back to my bacon stash... which took FOREVER*
Boo Ghardian
~Step Four~
*Finally getting into the kitchen, you need these two
things: A Cabinet and a hiding spot. One would think the cabinet would qualify
for both, right? WRONG. I usually like to sneak around the bottom of the
cabinets and make for sure that no one is around. Usually I do this during the
day when everyone is snoozin', and after yesterday with the sporadic nakedness
that TOTALLY made me go into hiding? They're sleeping. After I jump up onto the
countertop, I use my paws to paw open the cabinet, and jump into it*
Boo Ghardian
~Step Five and final step~
*Using my claws, I like to open a box of cereal. Wanna know
why? Huh? Huh?! HUH?! Well, hush now, I'll explain. You don't have to beg.
Grinning inwardly as I settle my head down onto my paws. It's the most epic
stalking place EVER. You can totally make yourself invisible so you can watch
from the floor. It's like my very own little safe place. Best thing about it?
The Doggen DON'T see me but I see them! That way I can watch everything from
the super secret hiding place of the box of cereal and they'll be oblivious.
Genius, huh? I know, I should TOTALLY copyright that*
*Oh... I forgot...*
*The correct way to crawl into a cereal box: Belly crawl.
This may be kinda hard if you're extra fluffy like me and your belly fluff goes
EVERYWHERE, but just keep doing it. Eventually when you can see out of the box?
You're all good! Happy stalking Doggen! I know I will be... perks up my ears.
Ooh. First meal is coming up soon... and I smell.. BACON*~
I hope you enjoyed Boo Boo's guide and take tips from him... I guess. *Looks around* I don't know about you but I haven't found a Cereal box in MY size. *Laughs*
XOXO!
XOXO!
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