Song: That Smell - Lynyrd Skynyrd
Rhage Ghardian
*Grinning like a fool, I carry the big bulky box up the staircase. As I make my way to my destination, I kick on Zszadist's door and call out* Move it or loose it, bucko, let's go!! *Not waiting for an answer, I continue further down the hall and stop at another door, Blaylock's this time. I kick at that door and yell* Wakey wakey, let go snakey! You want in? Then get a move on little doggy!! *Arriving at my final destination, I place the box down and turn to grin at the new arrivals* We have been remiss boys... Wrathh has been taking a dump in a normal toilet, when really what he needs is *Pulls the box off to reveal* a throne... a toilet fit for a King!! You want to help me install it? *grins* I know you do!!
Zszadist Ghardian
Fuck no! I'm not touching anything he's going to plant his ass on. *squinting down at the shiny commode* What the fuck is all of that?
Blaylock Ghardian
No way! *I cannot stop laughing seeing the shining seat* Man... did you steal it from Lassiter? It shines! A lot! Is it swarovski crystal?
Rhage Ghardian
Cubic Zirconium*shrugs* or Swaro... yadda yadda yadda... whateva, it's shiny and he hasn't planted his ass on it yet and no I didn't steal it from Lassie, I bought it. *grins* Come on, *points to Blaylock* Blay's in, I can tell!! Lets go before he gets back from doing his Kingly duty elsewhere. *looks up at Z* I know you want to, I can see it in your canary yellow eyes, they are pleading with me to let you come and Plaaayy!! *finishing in a sing-song voice*
Zszadist Ghardian
*planting the palm of my hands against my hips, contemplating. Ah fuck, it's not like he can see the shit.* Alright I'm in. But if he cuts his ass on one of those whatever you called it, I'm not putting a bandaid on it.
Blaylock Ghardian
*Looking at Rhage and Z, both looking at me waiting for some action. I roll my eyes* All right! Let's do it quickly! But I won't save anybody's ass! Just saying! *Rhage grins at me and I help him carry the toilet to the Study's bathroom. Putting down the box, I shake my head* I don't have a fucking idea how to install this.
Rhage Ghardian
*Grinning like a loon* Great!! Let's go *Picking up the toilet, I gesture to the door for either one to open it, and I walk in with Blay on the other end. My Tool belt that I borrowed from V, around my hips, clanging away* That is why you have me, young grasshopper, I know the weirding ways of the toilet *grins and laughs out loud when they both look at me with that same What the Fuck is he talking about face* OK the first reference was from the TV show Kung Fu, and the other was from the movie Dune *still seeing the blank faces, I shrug and continue on* Never mind... *taking out my wrench, I loosen the screws on the old toilet... *
Zszadist Ghardian
*squatting down, watching as Rhage takes apart the old fixture. What has he gotten me into?* Wait shouldn't you turn off the water first? *Glancing quickly over at Blay, Wrathh hasn't called us in yet over the subway flood. I sure as hell don't want to be called in for flooding the manse.*
Blaylock Ghardian
Good point! *Grinning to myself, I understand Z's glance at me. Although, the King hasn't talked about it , I'm sure that another flood and Wrathh will kick our asses away from the Manse. Searching for a water register, such as a valve, I find it behind the toilet and turn it off.* Done! I don't wanna a drop of this water on me!
Rhage Ghardian
*grinning at Blay as he turns off the water, I unconnect the final attachments and start the rock the toilet back and forth to loosen the seal on the wax ring...* Grab a towel, I am going to need it in a minute. *Seeing a hand in front of me holding a towel, I grin* OK when I pull this away, you stick the towel in the hole o the floor... disregard all the shit that is there, literally and figuratively and just getter down. OK... *lifting up the toilet* Now.. great!
Zszadist Ghardian
*cramming the towel into the hole, trying real fucking hard not to think about what goes down there.* There. Got it. Plugged the royal hole. *Seeing the smartass comment dying to escape Rhage's lips just as Blaylock busts out laughing.* Oh for fuck's sake, you know what I meant!
Blaylock Ghardian
*Breathless because of the laugh, I watch Rhage putting the old toilet aside while I take the glamorous shining new porcelain and position it to the pipe hole on the wall. Before to connect the toilet I take a look around and notice Z and Rhage looking at me* What? I'm waiting someone to take the towel. No fucking way I'll put my hand in water piss of your Highness!
Rhage Ghardian
*Shakes my head sadly and looks to Z* No loyalty... this generation has no loyalty. Back in the day, if the King told us to walk to camp, we didn't care that it was 20 miles up hill in each direction, in the snow!! *shakes my head again* NO we just did it. If he asked us to jump, we said How high? *nodding my head at Z* Am I right? You know I am... *hands Blaylock the new wax ring* And if the king needs his wax ring warmed up, you need to put it under your armpit. *nods to you* Come on!! for the good of the cause...
~20 min later~
OK you done good kid, wax is all warm and mushable... *I install the wax ring on the waste horn with the tapered end facing the toilet. I then have Zszadist and Blay place the toilet over the ring and gently rock it back and forth.* Very good team work boys, *tighening it down, I then make the connections to the pipes. Then getting ready to turn it on, I stand back* Now lets bow our heads in prayer... Dear SV. please protect out King while he is on the shitter. Please stand by him and watch over him as he goes and make sure he wipes properly *Looks at my brothers* Can I get an Amen or Hallelujah, Brothers?
Zszadist Ghardian
Yeah yeah Amen whatever. *wiping my hands against my leathers and making a mental note to burn them as soon as I can* Aren't we suppose to test to make sure it works or something? *rolling my eyes as the two of them gawk at me* damn it, I don't mean for one of us to piss in it. I'm talking about flushing it a few times or something.
Blaylock Ghardian
*Laughing of Z's face, I flush it a few times to see if the toilet is working. Water flows correctly and I take a glance at Rhage and Z* Working very nice Brothers! Good job! Now let's get our fucking asses out of here before Wrathh comes back! *Grabbing the tools and leaving the bathroom, I have to agree that now our King has a beautiful and shining new throne. If he will like it or not... that's another story* ~
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