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Xhex Ghardian
*Most of the time I can put it out of my mind. I don't hear
his name, I don't think about him, everyone's very careful not to bring him up
around me so I can keep all the shit buried deep. It's a mutual, unacknowledged
agreement, and part of me is grateful. It's a fine line--keep it buried or deal
with it. So I choose to bury it, until a time like tonight, when I've been out
on patrol and find myself backed into a corner by a couple of lessers. It's
then that the panic takes over and I'm back there.*
Xhex Ghardian
*I can see the room. It's not too big--there's
not a lot of room to run, not that I would give him the satisfaction. The bed
is unmade, and there's a plate of leftovers on the small table. I refuse to eat
so it just sits there...rotting. Like me.*
Lash Ghardian
*Walking into the room, closing the door
behind me without taking my eyes off of her. Smirking inwardly, not allowing
any feelings as I approach her, slowly...like the predator I am. I start to
talk, a dangerous whisper leaving my lips* You thought you could escape, run
away from me?! *My eyes not leaving her gun metal ones. The stubbornness to
give into me visible in them* No one is going to find you here.
Xhex Ghardian
*He's talking but I don't hear it and won't
respond to it. It's just one more thing I can do to fight back, even though
it's futile. I'm sitting against the wall, legs up, head resting on my arms. I
don't look up because I can't bear it. Seeing John today, so close...and I
couldn't fucking touch him, he couldn't see me, couldn't hear me...If there
were tears anywhere inside me, I'd release them. But I'm dry, hollow.*
Lash Ghardian
*Humming the Jaws theme, smirking to myself as
I walk in her direction. I know she is listening, she might pretend not to, but
she does. She always does. It his in her nature.* You didn't think he would see
you, did you. Johnny boy will never find you and...*standing now right beside
her, reaching out for her with my hand I frown as she doesn't even lean away
from my touch. Touching her hair softly, caressing a curly strand until I see
her pressing her eyes together. Snapping out of my state of emotion I grab her
hair and pull it backwards, looking directly into her eyes, my fangs punching
down*...you belong to me, never forget that.
Xhex Ghardian
*He throws my head back and it hurts, but
surprisingly, I do not care. In the beginning, I would've fought back, allowing
my anger to fuel a defiance that kept me alive. But now, after seeing John
here, in this room, I am beginning to understand that that there may be no end
to this. And that leaves me cold inside. I force myself to raise my eyes to
his, hoping the sight will kindle a bit of the heat I need in order to
survive.* Fuck. You.
Lash Ghardian
*Grabbing her hair more violently as I see the
look in her eyes. Her eyes, eyes that remind me of a time I must forget. Fate
chose another future for me. A life where I decide what I want and I
want...looking at her lips as she says the first words since I walked in the
room...I want her. I want what she stands for. Independence, not breaking apart
even when looking into the eyes who holds the future in his hands. Blinking, my
eyes still on her lips I try to focus, not letting emotions get the better of
me. Instead I am grinning evilly, choosing this time to show not only her, but
myself that I belong...somwhere.* No, Xhexania. *grinning at the hatred in her
eyes as I use her real name* I'd prefer to fuck you, just like I did over the
last weeks, and just like I will continue until I decide anything differently.
I am your future, get used to the idea. The sooner...*tightening my grip,
kissing her hard on the lips*...the better.
Xhex Ghardian
*I want to pull away but it's too much effort.
He will only push harder if I do. If there is one thing I've learned in the
past few weeks, it's how not to make things worse when he kisses me. It's so
fucking intimate and I have to clench my jaw to keep from heaving. Finally he
pulls back but I can still smell his breath inches from my face. I try to turn
away but he grabs my chin and holds my head firmly in place. And even though I
feel hollow, something, something I thought was dead, rises inside and I feel
the words come out before I can stop them.* Fuck me all you want, asshole. I
will never be yours and you will never touch me *I hit my chest* in here. I
will die first.
May 27 at 4:35pm · Unlike · 19
Lash Ghardian
Well, we can arrange that. But first...*grins
evilly*...first we two are going to have some...fun. *Absently tracing her lower
lip with my thumb, not realizing the caress myself as I look at the hatred
visible in her...beautiful eyes. * I was thinking for the next 700 years or so.
And your little pet, Johnny boy, can have the pillow. I am sure he will have
fun with the pillow, just as much fun that guy in the building had with him
*smirking*
Xhex Ghardian
*The pain in my gut screams upward into my
chest as the mention of John's name. Seeing him pick up that pillow today...he
thinks I'm dead. I could see it in his eyes. It was worse than this, seeing him
like that. What did I ever do in my life to be worthy of him? And just like
that, I am angry, so angry that my eyesight fades to red and I have to remind
myself to breathe. I cannot let Lash get to me this way. It's what he wants,
the reaction he is looking for. Instead of grabbing his wrist and slamming his
hand away, I put my head back down so I cannot see his eyes. I will not allow
him to win any victory at all over me.*
May 27 at 4:47pm · Unlike · 17
Lash Ghardian
*Seeing her reaction just like I want to see
it, I grin* Oh, so submissive today. *Leaning closer, my breath brushing her
ear* Guess what...I don't like it! *Rubbing my cheek against her one* I want
you furious...*Leaning back a little, looking at her, her hair still in my hand
I smirk, an idea rising* We are meant to be together. *Seeing no reaction,
trying to be calm at her resistence of letting me in* You want to know the
reason, right?
*As I still get no reaction from her I pull her up
violently, pressing her body against the nearest wall, shoving myself against
her curves, my next words escaping my lips in a growl* You will listen to me,
and you will fucking look at me while I talk to you! *As I realize that I just
lost my temper I take a deep breath, watching her as she is just watching my
chest. After I found my composure I press closer, smirking at the idea that she
can't get away, grinding my cock against her* You like that, you can admit it.
You like it, just as much as your mother liked it when that...animal took her.
*Breathing faster, one hand around her throat* You see,...sweet Xhexania, we
have a lot in common. We were both breed violently. And no one can actually
love you. Johnny doesn't, or he would have seen you that day. *Laughing evilly,
grinding against her with each word* You. are. mine.
Xhex Ghardian
*I am getting under his skin with my
non-answers. Good. Let him squirm. I raise my head and gaze at him through
heavy lids. The problem is, his words about John hit hard and it makes me
wonder if he is right. But then I see again John's face as he lifted that
pillow, and I know, inside where what's left of my heart lives, that he cannot
be right. And that makes me bold.* I am not yours and never will be.
*whispering* Never. Will. Be. *Anticipating the back hand across my cheek does
not make it hurt less, but there are no tears left inside to shed over the
pain. At least it ends the grinding against me. God, I feel so filthy when he
touches me, like I will never be clean.*
Lash Ghardian
*Grinning, leaning closer, breathing in her
scent at her neck, thrice, before I whisper...* You think you're getting under
my skin? *...pressing my body closer to her once again after I found my
composure after her words. They do hit me. But I wouldn't show that to her, I
can't. I can't show my weakness ever.* You are wrong, but I tell you what. I am
going to be in you. *Feeling her shiver at my words, I run the hand I had
around her neck to her right breasts, tweaking her nipple roughly* Enough
talking. *opening my pants while I look into her eyes, wanting her to see my
raw lust for her. Throwing her on the bed, smirking at me being stronger than
her I cover her body quickly with mine, ignoring her attempts to fight as I
part her legs with hips, my hands holding hers down on the mattress. I lean
down, my breath brushing her lips, sure she can feel my hard cock on her
entrance, ready to push all the way inside, marking her again and again,
whispering against her lips before...* You know you can't get away from me. You
will always be mine. Always. Even if I can't touch your body...a body that
belongs to me, I am in your head, and I will never leave. *...*
Xhex Ghardian
*It's with the words "I will never
leave" ringing in my head that I snap back into the present. The absolute
terror is gone just like that, even with two lessers coming at me with all
they've got. It is my choice to live in the present, with that asswipe forever
in the past, just an unpleasant memory that will never have a true hold on me
again. I survived, goddamnit. And I will continue to do so. So with a
well-timed swing at one whitey and a simultaneous kick at the other, I choose
to leave the past rotting in its own piss. I am alive.* ~
XOXO!
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